In happiness and in wealth…

Dedicated to my chaddi dosts in Bombay...

I don’t know about you guys, but I know a few people that are museum material, classic samples that belong in a place dedicated to them. I love them for making my dull and boring life so exciting (also gives me a chance to laugh at them, definately not with them).
So I have known this lady for all my life. The typical stylish kind whose husband she boasts gets a promotion every month (man, wonder what Focal review system they have!!). Here’s a typical conversation and trust me we have had several of them.. with almost a déjà vu effect.

Kunu aunty: Hey Guddi, you know my sister’s daughter, Khitpit, she is getting married to Raja of Tikamgad next week.
Guddi (thinking): There is a Raja and there is a Tikamgad? I wonder if it is a station in central railway.
Guddi: O really, are you all going?
Kunu aunty: O yes, they have chartered a plane for all of us and they are giving Rolex watches to all who come.
Guddi (thinking): Can I come? I’m sure they wont notice one extra person.. I’m willing to settle for a Bulova too.

So, Kunu aunty, Posh uncle, Oki and Onti (one straight and one gay son) all go for the wedding, add 17 pounds each, give an alarm clock gift to the newly weds that they got free when they went for another such wedding of a not-so-rich relative (she just married the MP’s son).
BTW, everyone in the world knows Onti is gay but Kunu aunty insists that he has a string of girl friends (drag queens probably!)

Conversation after they return…
Kunu aunty: Guddi, you should see the boy. He is soo handsome, apna Amir Khan types. And so well mannered. They sent a Mercedes to our hotel room to pick us up. Our free loader son Onti took it and went for a nice long drive to Kulu Manali in it with a very good friend he made there .. the executive chef. We had so much fun.
Guddi (thinking): Hmm executive chef…That must have been spicy.
Guddi: Do you have any photos, aunty?
(Damn Damn Damn, I should know when to shut up but you learn only after you fall. So I paid for my sins of asking for the photos.)
Boy looked like Kishan Kumar and not Amir Khan. Girl looked like a frustrated whore who hasn’t had any customers in a verrry long time. (I could imagine the cobwebs too!) The best part was that that was the only picture of the couple. The rest of the 35 pics from the 36 print roll were:
Kunu aunty with Posh uncle,
Posh uncle with drunk lady,
Oki with Kunu aunty by the master bedroom statue,
Onti with executive chef behind the tandoor-though I think that photo wasn’t meant to be printed.. they still looked flushed,
Oki and Onti by ice sculpture… you get the pic.

OK. So now couple is living happily ever after and my aunt has 4 Rolex watches.
2 weeks later.
Kunuaunty: You know Khitpit is divorcing.
Guddi: Why?
Kunuaunty: My sister gave so much Dahej and that boy’s family was beating up Khitpit for more.
Guddi: But you said they were rich.
Kunuaunty: No re Guddi, it was all a lie.
Guddi: But you said Onti went for a drive in their Mercedes with executive chef.
Kunuaunty: No, No. There was no Mercedes.
Guddi (completely confused, thinking): So she is admitting she lied?
Guddi: So what is she going to do now?
Kunuaunty: We found a nice peon for her. She will move to Panvel. Money doesn’t matter re Guddi, happiness does.

So much for happiness. Are you returning the Rolex to buy some happiness for Khitpit, Kunu aunty??