BOGO

Buy One Get One free!!! And I got a great deal. Twice over. And the best part..I didn't pay for the One (or in this case both). I walked out, just like that, with 4 of my favorites. As usual, no guilt or remorse. No turning back.

I can't remember life without Kunj and Chikoo, my chaddi dosts and with them I got their lil sisters, my free maal- Cheem and Tots. Don't really know which set I love more but knowing I have them, though thousands of miles away and writing to them every day, and sharing my life with them is the biggest treasure I have.

Kunj- I love her more because I know she loves me morer!
Nish- My conscience. Not that that stops me from being bad. ;)
Cheem- A great mix of Head and Heart with a body to die for.
Tots- The baby, the blonde, the sweetheart, the pretty, the beautiful heart, the dumb ass nitwit that no one can not love.

To many more years of giggling, shopping and bacha stories. Love all 4 of you BOGOs.

Abhi tho maine jawaan hoon...

..but I have to start planning my 40th. I trust no one but myself to make it perfect so why not spell it out.
1. I want all my boys drunk.
2. I want myself drunk.
3. I want music galore and the dance floor full of my boys drunk.
4. I wouldnt mind a couple of the girls drunk too ( you know who you are).
5. I want Flan and not cake with some rum.
6. I want the week and not just the day celebrated drunk.
7. I want to run on the beach in slow motion (maybe I should tape it and watch it on video, drunk).
8. I want it to go on until the day after to ease into reality.
9. I want laughter and drunken madness.
10. I want my chaddi dosts from Bombay here.

I better get on a strict diet starting now, to make it through that week. Strict liquid diet. Care to join me?

So Sick...

As soon as I plant Spring flowers and tell the kids that we will have the best 17 days of spring break, they start sneezing and coughing. By the weekend they even manage to get a fever. They sleep and wake up at different times, making sure I wouldn’t get a minutes rest. They both want different things to eat, play, do and watch. Being the best mom in the world, I do it relentlessly, completely ignoring the fact that my own allergies had kicked in and I hadn’t slept in 3 nights. In fact I think Ekta Kapoor could even send some of her starlets over for training for her next serial called Kkkya Ma!!
To add to my misery, Mu-man decides to get the flu, hacks his lungs out and needs warm water every hour. The dutiful wife in me wakes up and sits holding his head in my lap through the night, making sure the water is no less than the recommended 150F deg. I make chicken soup from scratch (actually finding farm grown organic chicken), change his sheets to 100% linen ones in mute colors and get his favorite movies to watch in bed. Scene 1: Ekta Kapoor’s Kkyunki biwi bhi kabhi Ma banegi!!
I walk into the kitchen and hear a strange cough, one I have never heard before and lo and behold, the dad in law is now coughing, has a low grade fever and completely denies being sick. He insists that he had it 2 days ago and he is all good now. But this lil Ekta Kapoor’s cheli won’t give up so easily. I quickly don the only polyester sari I have, veil myself with the Pallu, carry ginger tea to his room and start called him “Babuji”. I make garam garam rotis and apki pasand ki phoolgobi ki sabji. I lovingly chide him about taking his medications and hear him tell the neighbors, “Yeh meri bahu nahi beti hai”.
Scene 1: Ekta Kapoor’s attempt at light hearted serial, Kkamaal ki bahu!!
The entire weekend I clean and dust and cook and try to be as cheerful as possible to make sure I spread joy and happiness to my loved ones, occasionally breaking into family oriented Hindi songs.
It is amazing how Mu-man, dad in law and the kids have the same exact dream every time they are sick. Maybe some day it will come true, but not today.

Meds for thought…..

So, I am watching Lifetime-TV for Women and I realize that 90% of the advertisements are around different “diseases”. No, not the regular blood pressure, heart or diabetes kind, but the weird kind.
Here’s my conspiracy theory around it…
I don’t really think they are diseases; they are like some mad scientist's inventions. While creating meds in his garage or “lab”, he might have had a lot of leftovers that he may want to sell off. So he comes up with these ridiculous “diseases”.
Like use Mirapex for Restless Leg Syndrome. What the heck is that!! The body sleeps but the leg doesn’t?? Or Adult ADHD with the ad saying, “Do your thoughts wander when you are in a meeting?” HELLO!! We all do that. If you want to sell drugs for THAT, a mere pill wont do, make a shot for it and add it to the immunization list alongside DTP, Hep A and Vericella vaccines. My favorite is YAZ, the birth control pill that controls birth, stops periods, clears acne, stops bloating…my question to them is “Does it also make you a Male?”

I created my own with all this inspiration. The ad goes something like this…

1. Have you walked into the pantry and not known what you were looking for?
2. Do you sometimes think Bed, Bath and Beyond but say LinensNThings?
3. Do you ever have the urge to pee in the car when you are stuck in traffic for 45 mins. with no exit in sight? (With the after thought of taking the car to Cobblestone on your way home and getting it cleaned?)
4. Do you go on n off diets and exercise?

Don’t worry. About 97.89% of all Americans suffer from this disease called JPD (Just Plain Dumb). JPD can be treated with one pill taken once a week on Fridays called the GS (Get Some).
Side effects include:
-NSM (Need Some More)
-IP (Intense Pleasure)
-ASM (Awesome Saturday Mornings)
In some rare cases, your spouse may even make you breakfast in bed.
Please let you doctor know if you take any kind of cough and cold meds, Valium or high dose pain relief meds as this may lower the I-ty of your P (look within side effects) due to sleeping half way through. Please use responsibly.