Here’s my conspiracy theory around it…
I don’t really think they are diseases; they are like some mad scientist's inventions. While creating meds in his garage or “lab”, he might have had a lot of leftovers that he may want to sell off. So he comes up with these ridiculous “diseases”.
Like use Mirapex for Restless Leg Syndrome. What the heck is that!! The body sleeps but the leg doesn’t?? Or Adult ADHD with the ad saying, “Do your thoughts wander when you are in a meeting?” HELLO!! We all do that. If you want to sell drugs for THAT, a mere pill wont do, make a shot for it and add it to the immunization list alongside DTP, Hep A and Vericella vaccines. My favorite is YAZ, the birth control pill that controls birth, stops periods, clears acne, stops bloating…my question to them is “Does it also make you a Male?”
I created my own with all this inspiration. The ad goes something like this…
1. Have you walked into the pantry and not known what you were looking for?
2. Do you sometimes think Bed, Bath and Beyond but say LinensNThings?
3. Do you ever have the urge to pee in the car when you are stuck in traffic for 45 mins. with no exit in sight? (With the after thought of taking the car to Cobblestone on your way home and getting it cleaned?)
4. Do you go on n off diets and exercise?
Don’t worry. About 97.89% of all Americans suffer from this disease called JPD (Just Plain Dumb). JPD can be treated with one pill taken once a week on Fridays called the GS (Get Some).
Side effects include:
-NSM (Need Some More)
-IP (Intense Pleasure)
-ASM (Awesome Saturday Mornings)
In some rare cases, your spouse may even make you breakfast in bed.
Please let you doctor know if you take any kind of cough and cold meds, Valium or high dose pain relief meds as this may lower the I-ty of your P (look within side effects) due to sleeping half way through. Please use responsibly.
