1. You smile and your cheeks block half the view by partially (or fully) covering your eyes. (Come on, I ain't looking, try it, try it).
2. You fit into a Medium sized jacket happily and then realize, the damn thing was pulled from the Maternity rack.
3. Your daily routine includes powdering your tummy tires to avoid chaffing.
4. You don't need a pedicure but you get it done anyway, coz you can't reach your toe nails without having to adjust 50 million times while clipping them.
5. Your kids laying on you reminds you of the scene in Jurassic Park where she lays her head on the sick dino's belly-moving up and down with the breathing.
6. You never fear that your boobs will reach your knees someday.. because the belly will act as a HURDLE!
7. Walking to the vending machine is your "activity" for the day.
8. Walking from the parking lot to destination (usually work) knowing you are a lil late, is your cardio for the day.
9. Your other half calls you Xena-warrior princess, not because you are sexy but because your bra now looks like her armor!
10. Body parts resemble food-pizza dough tummy, jello jiggle, donut butt-basically anything soft and fluffy.
11. You don't think "Yo mama's so fat-" jokes are funny coz they really apply to you.
12. You google to check if Somalia has opened doors to a Fat donation center yet and are first on their list of donors in any case. (Your VISA is ready and you have an open ticket to the place).
Guys, I think it's time for me to smoke, err eat grass ......
4 years ago
10 comments:
this is so honest, that i want to cry.
the new year and rsolution time is coming up... *are we supposed to be scared into action*
do "friday shrink" it out
MiM,
Honest to God, its all true.. but the problem with me is I Love myself sooo much and can see how awesome I am in 50000 different ways that this is a very small deal. The only time I feel the need to loose weight is when I don't get clothes my size.. I love clothes, love,love, love clothes. So I get on my moaning wagon n then eventually after loosing .5 ounces, I give up. Wot to do?? :)
:)
Can I complain?
I have that spare tyre right now, which I highly doubt I can lose. I am thinking of getting a tummy tuck slash breast lift as my 40th birthday present.
My NYE resolution is to get back to running. Doing a half marathon next year would be my goal and I am hoping the running will take away the last 25 lbs I need to lose. And if not, then plan b is stated above.
sraikh,
you are dedicated n stubborn. I bet you can do it. If I had 1/3rd of the fire in my belly, I would be good. But then what will I do with my philosophy of FAT=Happy, THIN=Sad?
Rofl'ing all the way...but you are beautiful as you are shrink ;)! Loved your response to MiM..
Thanks, Sole! So going forward, you call me pretty n I call you pretty. OK?? :)
omg, you are soooo funny. You need to post more!
My husband says he will pay for a tummy tuck for me. I am thinking about it....
June,
Talked to experts about tummy tucks and all of them say, "Do it, but...loose a good chunk of weight with exercise n diet and "tuck" the rest of it which will include the loose skin too, otherwise the fat will just deposit elsewhere."
check this out..http://fridayshrink.blogspot.com/2006/12/my-inventions.html.
Go to point #4.
ROFL at no. 6!
Starry,
Not so funny when its the truth! Boob n Tummy are best friends... lovers actually, kambhaqt bra plays the role of bedard duniya!!
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